Death By Sneezing


There is a bicycle shop located next door to my office. I share a courtyard with it. On most days, my window is open so that the air in the room doesn’t get stale. The bicycle shop has a sneezer, and he’s driving me crazy.

When I tell you that he sneezes all day long, I am not exaggerating. He opens the store at 11:00 am, and he promptly starts sneezing. I once clocked him at 18 sneezes in a row. I couldn’t believe it. I also couldn’t believe I was sitting at work counting his sneezes.

You’re probably  wondering why I can’t just ignore it. I can’t. I’ve tried.  Some days I find myself getting so angry at the man’s sinuses that I actually fantasize on how to take him out. Don’t worry; I’m not violent. I just can’t take much more of his sneeze-chains. They go on all day long.

Get some damned antihistamines, dude.  You’re killing me!


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