My Cat, Fake Plants and Oprah Winfrey.


My seven year old cat developed kidney failure, and we recently had to make the painful decision to put her down. Here’s what was interesting about this cat: she tried to eat fake plants. Our model townhouse came with a virtual forest of fake plants, most of which were given to some man with a pickup truck who saw our posting on Craig’s List. (We were anxious to dump the forest and, in typical Craig’s List fashion, someone else wanted it.) We did, however, decide to keep a few for some strategic locations, such as the top of the kitchen cabinets and alongside our soaking tub in the master bath.

So what did our cat do? She tried to eat the fake plants. I’d periodically glance her way and find her trying to chew the plastic leaves. I never quite figured out if she was stupid, rebellious, or just plain comedic. Actually, now that I think about it, I may have been the one who was stupid, rebellious and comedic for having fake plants in my house.

(It just occurred to me that perhaps I need to apologize to the fake plant industry for disparaging their product. Flashes of Oprah and the meat industry are entering my brain.)

Fake plant industry: please don’t sue me. I really couldn’t handle it. My cat just died, and my spouse just told me that I either need to get a new pet or have a hysterectomy.

This is not a good sign.


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